GIVING BACK- BY JESSICA WESOLEK
This is a post on Jessica's blog which I found really interesting and worthwhile, so with her permission, I am posting it here. Go and have a look at her really interesting art and everyday life messages here:
http://web.me.com/jwesolek/cre8it/Blog/Blog.html
"Giving Back . . .
Communication fascinates me and always has. I really think it makes the world go around. So, it has always interested me that only 1 or 2 percent of readers ever leave Comments on a blog post, or have anything to say in a Yahoo Group.
It interested me enough that I have been asking friends why that is. Yes, I have a lot of lurker friends to ask. The answers were really interesting because they went something like this: I’m shy, nothing I say would be interesting to anybody, I’m probably the only one who hasn’t already thought of this, I’m too busy.
Do you pick up a theme there? Pretty one-sided, right? But what if leaving comments wasn’t all about you?
I have an interesting lesson to share. I used to have a very hard time accepting compliments, and like many of us do, I would pretty much throw the compliment back in the complimentor’s face, thinking I was practicing modesty instead of insult. They would say “you’re so good” and I would say “no I’m not”. Those are paraphrases, but you know what I mean. “What a pretty dress!” “Oh, this old thing?”
So one day, my brother asked me if I realized that I was insulting the other person. Whether I realized the complimenting process wasn’t only about me, but rather, a social interaction. What? Something that’s not only about me? How could that be?
But he was right. By arguing with a compliment, I was telling the other person they were wrong, and maybe their opinion didn’t matter much to me.
That was a big lesson, and ever after, I just say “Thank you”
There are lots of things that aren’t just about us, and the amazing plethora of treasure that is internet content is one - a gift that didn’t just get stuck in your computer with the hard drive. It is created and given by hardworking and generous-to-a-fault people just like you (blogs, Yahoo Groups, online zines, tutorials, product reviews, etc. - all free).
If someone brought all this in a box to your door, would you say “Thank you”? Of course you would. If someone at a party told you an amazing thing you never heard of before, or told you about a wonderful new store or book, or restaurant, would you stand there and stare at them silently like you didn’t hear them? Of course you wouldn’t.
Well, the web is not different than the world we live in anymore. It is a social place, and we must all take some social responsibility. I get a kick out of articles that talk about “Netiquette” and Web Etiquette. They mention not flaming somebody into ash, and not TYPING IN ALL CAPS because it means you are yelling.
But they don’t say: speak up and add your voice and your energy to this fantastic exchange so it can keep on rolling and become even better. So the folks who are giving all this don’t run out of gas and stall altogether. They should say that.
And just in case you are thinking this is all about me (Jessica), I think we do better here (cre8it blog) than most with Comments (especially when something free is being given away ;-), and I get so much gratitude in emails that it gives me lots of practice on my compliment Thank You’s! But it breaks my heart to see really good Yahoo Groups fade away because only three people are willing to keep talking, or wonderful blogs go away because the author feels she is hearing the sound of one hand clapping or worse, talking to herself in public.
I know lots of bloggers will say they are doing it “for themselves” and it doesn’t matter if anybody responds with a Comment, but a part of that is just bravado. If they were only doing it for themselves, they would do it in a closet - not on the internet.
So let these wonderful folks know you visited, and if you liked their tutorial, or if their technique gave you a valuable answer you’ve been searching for. Or just say “thanks for all you do,” like many of my wonderful readers do. It’s little but it goes a long way.
Give back - and it will only get better for everyone."
Placed here with permission from Jessica Wesolek.
55 comments:
It's an interesting thought isn't it. It has inspired me to leave more comments. Thanks for sharing Barb.
This is a great article ... but there is always another side to the story isn't there? I know a girl locally that demands comments on her blog, is blatently rude to you if you've visited her blog and haven't left a comment ... yet she's unwilling to leave comments for others ... what's that all about? There's some strange one's out there, that's for sure. I, on the other hand, love leaving comments for others, without any expections in return.
Well you've inspired me to sign up to a google account and leave a comment! I'm one of those lurkers and have the same thoughts but have decided it's about time I accept that the creative journey has to start somewhere....and sometimes it's near the bottom but the only way of improving is reading fantastic blogs like yours! Thanks Barb for giving me the kick into action I needed. PS Loved the ATC's and your torso is fab!
Very interesting article Barb.
Sometimes I think we don't leave comments because that takes time to do and time away from our own art time, my hand up here, I'm guilty of that. But I do sometimes leave a comment on blogs that I don't know the people as well. I guess that we just have to be more encouraging to those that are well known in the art world and also the person who is just beginning too. I know how great it it to see a comment from wonderful people on my blog, it gives me a real lift.
beautiful, so well written and true. We all do our best at leaving comments but no doubt time is of the essence and we forget. I sure do. Time to start letting people know my thoughts whether by comment here or by private email.
Yout ATC is beautiful. I am about to head over to the other post to leave a comment. However, I do not want to be included in the draw. Thanks
Thanks Barb for inspiration ! I always try and leave a comment I have learnt so much from a few peoples blogs and I like to show gratitude even if its just a comment after all these people are taking the time to show their talent and even explain to newies like myself how to attempt different techniques...
I greatly appreciate that !
Since I do not have a blog, I am guilty of just visiting, looking around at the awesome artworks and leaving. Sometimes I do leave comments, though. It seems like bloggers want other bloggers to comment or link back to their blogs, or take part in giveaways or swaps, etc.
Your ATC is great, by the way! :)
Inspiring! I am a confessed lurker, shy and embarrassed, thinking no one would care for my insignificant comment! But we tend to look at the computer as an inanimate object, forgetting that there is a person on the other side, we can't see them but they are there. Thank you, I needed the push to heard and seen, Sof
Jessica is absolutely right - if I had no sitemeter counter on my blog, I wouldn´t know how many people visit my site daily. Sometimes when I see those data from the daily visitors from Moscow (!)and Tokyo (!) I´m thinking of posting on my blog why they both never show up in my comments ... The fact that nice and personal comments brighten my day so often makes me want to comment on other people´s blogs, and I do. Well, only if something really catches my eye, of course.
Barb, this is really wonderful - thank you for sharing. As a group moderator, I feel a special obligation to comment and give feedback on my group and yet, after reading this, I realize I could do a much better job! You, by the way, are a great cheerleader for our group and I do appreciate that =)
I am so not good at lurking. I tend to put my two cents in more often than not!
I do comment but most times the owner of whatever blog doesn't comment back.
I've gained a couple of friends via blogs/comments and I always appreciate the time someone takes to comment back.
Jessica, thank you for putting it right out there for all to read (although it may be preaching to the choir!). \
As if to prove your point, this past week a wonderfully dedicated SoulCollager announced that she was closing down her site/group for lack of feedback and participation. Yes, 50+ people had eagerly joined since February, and yes, they uploaded many incredible cards on the site pages each created, but there was no real discussion! SoulCollage is an intimate process which can leave the creator quite exposed, but...nothing. It must have felt like a slap in the face after all of her hard work setting up the .ning site.
I am brand new to ATCs, and having coveted the many, manyh beautiful cards by all of you, I've been reluctant to create a photostream of my digitalized and manipulated cards because I feared they would compare unfavorably with those I'd seen. I'm not, after all, "an artist." To my surprise, however, people seem to like what I uploaded (if asking to trade is a reliable measure).
Regarding communication. I thrive on it and love it when someone includes a little note along with their traded card in their mail. Trading cards reminds me of the times growing up when I used to write to pen pals around the world. (Do some of you remember the TV show in the late 50s called Big Blue Marble or the comic books that had pen pal organizations listed in the back?) Later, when I taught, my classes always had class pen pals, often in towns with the same name as the one in which I taught!
Communication takes time and effort and should be honest. I always remember one of my mother's favorite sayings: "If you don't have something nice to say, say nothing." I also am reminded of the admonition not to "damn with faint praise." And finally, Pearl Buck's observation that the greatest hurt is not criticism, but indifference.
Just my thoughts!
Cindy Peck
http://www.flickr.com/photos/20946619@N04/
I am on several groups and blogs and I always find something nice to say to 80% of the posts posted! I do believe in community, and I do believe in relationship, and I do believe in encouragement, so I always comment on others work! Even when they don't comment about mine... it can hurt your feelings... but I see it more as giving then receiving. You never know when you have made someone's day!
Love and Light, stephanie
joyuslion@comcast.net
Barb, this is a thought-provoking article. I agree that groups tend to wither on the vine when there are just a few people adding their voices. Comments on blogs - yes I agree it would be nice to have more comments, and I do try to leave comments when I see pieces I enjoy. I think that the sincerity of the comments is what counts more than the number. If I have one person leave a comment saying that I inspired them or made them feel something I would take that one comment over a hundred "that's nice" comments.
To increase your personal comment numbers I would recommend you change your settings to allow posts from folks who aren't hooked up to Google/Blogger or OpenID (you can change it to accept where people type in their name and URL). I'm leaving this comment under the ID I used for me weight loss blog - my "real" blog is at http://pinkbirdstudio.typepad.com
Thanks for making us all think a bit more about our interactions in this big "community" in cyberspace!
Cindy :)
cindy@artchixstudio dot com
It just doesn't occur to me to leave a comment...I guess I don't feel the artist ever looks. From now on, when I go on a blog or view art where a comment is possible, I WILL do so. I imagine it DOES make a difference after one has worked hard on a piece. Thanks for calling this to my attention, Barb.
Caw! Caw! Well put article. I sometimes leave comments, other times will email the blogger. But, if it is on a blog site where I have to register and I'm not already registered, I hate to take that extra step. I love watching people's blogs. And I love to view their work this way.
I never realized how few people leave comments. I will be better about this. (I do comment but not every time.) Some great points here. Thanks!
Sometimes you just have to speak your mind and there will always be artists in the wings waiting to add a few words. We need to celebrate each other and our creativity. If we don't, who will?
ginag
I agree and disagree. I try to leave comments on blogs where I am inspired by something on it. If I see a piece of art that truly speaks to me, I comment. If it's an opinion I strongly agree with, I comment. I do not, however, just comment for the sake of commenting. In some cases I have commented, reached out and been ignored. So I think this is a two way street. Bloggers need to reply as well.
Great comments I am not a blogger because I do not have the patience. but I so do admire those of you who do. do try and leave comments whenever my computer will let me!Sue
Interesting article. I do not leave comments very often on blogs I visit. If I have to sign up or join something then i never leave a comment. I do post comments to the groups i am in, but my comments have decreased considerably since i first joined. I do not have a blog and often think about all the personal information people put out on their blogs. I just think I'm from a different generation and am a bit more concerned (or paranoid)about my privacy. Sue Cervantez
I'm very happy to say that I am not one of the 98% of people who don't leave comments. I always leave comments when I visit someone's blog. Unless, and this only happens 1 or 2% of the time, I really can't think of anything to say about what the person has posted. For me, the whole fun of blogs is the interaction between blogger and reader. But, I had no idea such a small percentage of us did leave comments. I do hope her article and your posting it here will encourage people to join in! Thanks for sharing it Barb!
Very, very well said!! I am guilty of not always leaving comments, though I will set time aside every couple of weeks to try to catch up. Thank you for a gentle reminder to be the person I'd like to be ...
I am guilty of reading and not commenting, even though I have responses and yet do not share them.
I enjoy getting responses and you would think I would respond with that in mind.
I admit that lunch hour reading does not leave much time to respond and no, I do not only browse on my lunch hour.
So I guess it just takes a little nudge like this to make us all think and respond.
I agree that it's less than polite to read a blog and perhaps d/l material without leaving a comment.
Sometimes I just get caught up in the various links and spend all my time leaping from one to another.
I will try to be more interactive in the future.
I did read your pages and thoroughly enjoyed them. I have bookmarked the site and will be back for a longer visit when I get my desktop computer back from the shop.
Linda Kerby
Hi Barb, This is a very interesting post and it really made me open my eyes. I would consider myself to be a lurker and don't normally leave comments on other people's blogs, but I am going to change that. Ironically, I recently started a blog (it's not very popular (yet), and I check it everyday to see if I get a follower and/or a comment, and most of the time I am disappointed. I now realize that there are many other people with blogs out there that probably feel like I do, so I am going to start leaving lots more comments. Thanks for the wake up call!
Hi there,
Funnily enough I read this article even before reading about your blog giveaway. ;) Why? That's simple -- the topic is very interesting. While I sometimes don't have the time to leave a comment, I always try to do so -- especially when the blog entry touched me in one way or another. I also love it when people care enought to leave a comment on my blog. In fact, I recently made a little thank you for all those kind people which you can see here.
Jessica rethorically asks if you don't also thank others when you get a gift. Well, I do, but, recently, a pen pal whom I had had contact with for sixteen long years didn't care enough to write a short thanks note after a box full of Christmas gifts until five months later and after many inquires from my part. I had been so full of joy to treat her to some of her favorite things, yet she didn't care enough to acknowledge that for nearly half a year. Frankly, if a friend behaves like this, do I really expect strangers to leave comments on a blog? No, not really. Thus I appreciate each and every comment so much -- they are like little gifts and can spread so much love, support and encouragement. That's why I strive to leave comments whenever possible.
Greetings from Munich,
Birgit
Thanks so much for your friends interesting thoughts. I'm new to the blogging and have been away from the internet for several years so am still catching up on all that is new. I'll be coming out of lurkdom now. Promise.
I agree and someone once pointed the same thing to me out about just saying thank you other wise you are insulting the giver of the compliment. Might of been my dear Mother! She's so wise! It much easier to say thank you too once you get used to it! Not so hard,Eventualyy you might even start to believe the compliments! LOL! I try to visit other peoples blogs and leave comments as often as I am able, which isn't all that often. I have notice though when I offerred a give away my blog became more successful at least for a while. That's one reason I love doing giveaways. The other is I also think it's fun to share! Thanks to both of you for sharing this and making me think about other peoples feelings again, that's very important. Sanna
Well said Jessica and food for thought too. As a group owner I struggle daily with trying to get more than the few "regulars" to post comments and questions to the group or to join in on swaps - which are all high quality and I make sure that they all get mailed out on time. If they aren't I include an extra special bonus pack of goodies with the returns. With 89 members you'd think there would be more chatter. Any ideas? Or are Yahoo groups dying a slow death? Thanks for the post and for letting me comment!
Terrie
I started a blog in May. I have 1 comment and 0 followers. I'm not sure how I feel. My blog is quite like a diary so perhaps it's better I don't know the thoughts of people who visit.
Your blog is beautiful and inspiring. I appreciate your description of how you made your ATC's. I really need handholding to try creating.
Thanks, Helbo
I used to be on WordPress, and it's a pain trying to comment, because you have to type in the code word, and sometimes, it's not real clear. I know I have spent considerable time trying to leave a comment. Now that I'm on Blogger, it's a lot easier! The other thing I'm thinking of is that if YahooGroups was more user-friendly with regards to replying(to only the sender), I would comment more. But it clogs up our email, and when you are in a lot of groups, it can get to be too much. So, I try to be considerate of the group, and only reply to the sender, but it should be easier to do so.
Well put...I believe everyone likes to receive feedback and if you've taken the time to read something someone has written, download a shared image or learn form a tutorial someone has put together for all of us, it only takes a few minutes more to leave a comment.
Amen sista, I love leaving (and getting comments) too.
Jamie :)
Excellent post and very well said. I haven't been blogging that long, however in my long contemplation on starting my own blog , I treated myself to an issue of Artful Blogging. Stated as the cardinal rule on etiquette: "Do comment on a post if you found it enjoyable or moving. Bloggers love to hear when their efforts are appreciated." With that said, I try to leave a comment to the author most times.(sometimes I feel redundent, but I try to remember that the comment is not just about me. We art lovers need to be very vocal to our community, because it is so enjoyable and it will make us better artists.
This is a great article. Everyone wants praise and feedback on their work. I am just as guilty of visiting blogs but not adding comments in the fear that my comments may not be worthy or interesting. I vow now to post even just a hello to the blogs that I visit. This is a great giveaway and I would love to have this little lady in my collection. Thanks.
Hi Barb,
As you know, I support Jessica's view and have had her message on my blog. I have been making sure to leave more comments than I usually do after reading her message.
Cheers,
Rob K
Barb, I always try to take time to comment although being a truck driver and gone from home alot I do confess to hurrying through sometimes just so I can see everything. Back before I started working in the oilfield(I had time, lol) I won a few surprise gifts by leaving comments on blogs. Got a gorgeous handmade journal from Australia even. What a nice surprise and ended up making a wonderful internet friend. I tried to leave a comment on Jessica's site, and couldn't get any of the links to come up(sorry page not found)although I haven't had a chance to visit her site alot I do subscribe to her blog and check out her links when I have time. Made me mad because I really wanted to check out the handmade book entry she had. So the long of it, lol, I agree with posting when you check out someones blog because "They might not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel". That works in every day life too. You never know when a kind word or even just a smile might make someone's day. Hugz, Scary
I will definitely try to leave comments more often. I didn't want to sound trite, so I never bothered; now I will take time to do so. ~Patt
thanks for your insight !
Hi there - I can tell you why most of the time I don't comment. It is because there usually is yet another form to fill out giving out my personal information, making me pick a password, and signing up for something I might only visit that one time. I put "anonymous" as my name, because I don't have not signed up in the past for any of the multiple options you have here for signing in. I love looking at art and I do sign in and comment on things I feel especially inspired by or especially like, but I don't go around giving random praise for things I may not necessarily like. Additionally, the flip side of commenting is how many people actually take the time to read through the comments. Once more than 10 or so comments are posted, I pretty much tune out of interest in what anybody after that said. I don't blog myself, because I feel most blogs are really people just talking incessantly about themselves (not talking about you) and some people (again, not talking about you here) are opening the door for creating really bad cases of self-involvement and conciet. There definitely is a potential value to blogging - I just think that since it is possible for every single person with access to a computer to do it, most of it is just background noise and lost in the shuffle. - Patricia M.
Jessica's post certainly has encouraged many people to comment more frequently. I, of course, am guilty of not leaving many comments for a variety of reasons. There are so many wonderful blogs that I enjoy checking out that if I was to leave a comment everytime I checked in, I'd spend all day on the computer. Secondly, I use Google Reader and it is time consuming to then open the actual blogs and comment, again I'd be on the computer all day. I guess the most important reason though, is that I thought, wrongly it may seem, that nobody would be interested in my humble opinion. The blogs that I visit belong to people who I consider to be extremely talented and I don't hold myself in that same category, hence why would the artists be interested in what I have to say.
That being said, since reading Jessica's comments and comments from many artists like yourself, I now realise that everybody likes to receive comments from others and I have made a more conscious effort to provide feedback to the many wonderful artists I 'visit' on a regular basis.
Hugz......
Thanks for keeping the ball rolling and for sharing your wonderful art.
I admit i'm a lurker, i have my fave blogs that i love to visit and learn from but rarely leave comments, and i don't know why not. in the grand scheme of things it's not all that much extra effort and i know that when someone leaves a comment on my blog it's like receiving a little nugget of gold - lights up my day. So thank you Barb for sharing, it's lit a fire under my butt to share my thoughts and who knows, maybe light up someone elses day?
I think we are all guilty of this, yes there seems to be a lot of free things on the web and just to leave a quick thank you or some appreciation wouldn't hurt any of us.
This comment or article made me think twice. Being a new blogger I would apppreciate a comment or two good or bad. That is how we learn and share.
BTW love your artwork it inspires me!!!
On that note. Thank you.
Lesley
Interesting topic. I suppose it also depends a lot on the thought behind searching blogs. if you are only there for the grabs, then you wont take the trouble to leave a message. On the other hand, you could also choose to stay quiet because you don't like the work and don't want to hurt peoples feelings, or you could be just rude and leave the site.
Anyway, thanks for this interesting topic.
Barbara Morrison
b.morrison@chello.nl
Thanks for posting this article.. I hadn't really given it alot of thot, I comment randomly depending on time etc and do have a hard time with wordpress etc... but hadn't considered that someone might be hurt or close a blog for lack of it.. or that I should share the inspiration or smile that I received from looking at someone's projects.. if I enjoy a blog I do add it to my google reader to follow but that in itself..has some issues with reading updates and not going directly to the blog..so a comment is not made..
Thanks again.. I found your art amazing.. and will definitely show more appreciation for all the beauty that people share..
Kath
kwkris@gmail.com
An interesting read,
Being new to the blogging world, I love it when someone leaves a message for me.
But this had made me think, and I will try and leave more comments on other peoples blogs now!
Jan
Funnily enough i found your blog through a post on a yahoo group!This is a great article.
One of the things about leaving comments is the wonderful extra interaction i have with fellow bloggers and the friendships made from all over the world.
I think your art work is wonderfulm too jenxo
Ms Wesolek makes some very good points.
Here is another, having less to do with psychological reasons, and more of technical ones: I have a very hard time finding a 'comment' button. This is because I am looking for a button to leave a comment, and it wasn't until recently that I discovered that often, one is required to read the comments of others before finding said link.
Does this mean I am not interested in what others have to say? Not at all. It's just that life gets in the way all too often, and if I cannot make my comment in a timely manner (right now, this second), I may be called away from the computer and will not have a chance to leave it, ever.
Furthermore, I have a very hard time controlling my own blog. When I last visited it, I noticed all my links had vanished, and not only do I not know what happened, I find I am unable to correct the problem. The point is, I haven't a clue how to suggest making that 'comment' link more visible.
So, back to Jessica: Thanks for giving valuable insight, and if I can find that comment button more often, I will leave comments more often.
I don't think there is anyone in the ATC community who does not enjoy reading comments about their work. One hates to think they are working in a void.
Fantastic article, thanks for sharing this. I personally visit and lot of blogs and leave comments, and when people leave me comments I always, always return the visit. It can be at times very time consuming but I appreciate all that do comment on my work and all the people who "follow" my blog, and I have met a lot of wonderful people this way :)
I didn't know you had this blog Barb until today, but I am so glad you visited me, and on returning the visit I found out about it :)
Thanks for posting and sharing the article Barb. An interesting thread as so many of your commenters have already stated.
I know from my own perspective I have many blog visitors (as evidenced by the blog stats) but few who bother to comment, except the usual tribe (and my thanks to them!)so I have sort of given up on the rest, which is a shame!
Anyway, thanks for the thought provoke :-)
This is so right!
I could at least say "Thank you" everytime I visit a Blog or site, if I would not know anything else to say.
Sometimes I want to leave a comment, but I can only do that when I leave emailadresses of my friends! And that is something I refuse to do, so then I don't leave a comment.
Thank you for sharing this view and all the other nice things on this Blog. greetings from Trix - the Netherlands
I have read all of these comments and want to thank you all for leaving them.... I understand it can be hard to do so with some of the setting s on some of the blogs and that sometmes it can take too long for various reasons but as some have mentioned, it is nice to be recognised and even a "thankyou" is encouraging.
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